who goes to Florida in June?

 ...my mom and I.  But atleast we drank bloody mary's and wine before the flight.  Infact, the flight was so smooth, we both slept the whole time. Yes--the aircraft magically gliding through the sky at 30,000 feet (something I will NEVER trust or understand), lulled us to sleep.  Not the alcohol. Anyways.
We had a reason for going! My Grandma lives in Florida!  Now, I love my Grandmother to death, but please...repeat after me:

I will not retire in Florida

I will not retire in Florida

I will not retire in Florida

Thank you. You'll thank me too.

In any case, we had a wonderful time! Despite the fact that there is absolutely nothing to do in Greenacres and the humidity index is higher than the number of brown shirts I own, every second spent outside of West Plam was worth it....because my Grandma is the absolute best.  She has a wit and sharpness that puts me to shame; her ability to make fun of herself comes out quickly and often unexpectedly: "Laura, you read me like a book.  Not a best seller, just a book."  And then: "I miss that lizard that used to live out on my porch.  That lizard was attached to me--the first thing to fall in love with me in decades.  It's a different species, but who the hell cares!"

 During our stay, we saw two movies, went out to dinner, took my Grandma to the grocery store, bank, etc, and drank wine. Lots of wine. To ya know, cool off.

 

I also found time to go to the beach, where I properly walked past the public section and pretended I was a member of the Four Seasons Resort.  I was happily equipped with an empty beach, a cushioned recliner, hors d' oeuvres, and a bar with discounted cocktails.  It wasn't until the bill came and I had to "simply" sign my room # that I realized I would be caught.  I smiled and asked if I could pay cash, and ran out of there as fast as I could. 
     With my free time (which was sure a plenty) I managed to read 1 1/2 books, take on the heat with a couple of runs, and become one shade closer to becoming African. One day. 
Until then, remember to call your Grandmothers, revel in the fact that you're young and spy, and please, just don't retire in Florida.


 I love you, G.